The Boarding House

A week or so ago I read a news story about a small house in Edison, New Jersey, where apparently there were so many people coming and going that the neighbors complained. It turned out that there were several Indian guys all living in that house, all professionals, all gainfully employed. My sense is they were huddling together not just to save money, but also to enjoy the warmth of companionship and mutual emotional support, much like what they might have done in India. The local authorities came down on them because the house had crossed the line from a respectable dwelling to a boarding house, or something of that sort.

These guys were not related to each other. What if this were a family of fifteen? Would the neighbors complain? Would themembers have to disband? Is there a limit to how large a family can be if all the members lived together? If there was say a limit of five (mom, dad, two kids, and another thrown in as a bonus - have two, get one free), my grandparents' house back in old Madras would certainly be totally in violation. As I remember, when we used to visit during the summer holidays, there would be at least twenty family members in this little house with a "hall" that could just about fit a pool table, a bedroom that was half the size of the hall, and an open courtyard that was bigger than both combined. In the evenings after the sun had set, I would lie on a pockmarked wooden bench in the courtyard, gazing up at the stars, and listening to our shortwave radio, with its magical ebb and flow. Radio Ceylon used to broadcast the popular Binaca Geet Mala which I would never ever miss, then there was the BBC World Service, and occasionally the Voice of America. Those summer vacations made for some of my best memories in life, not the least of which was because of the closeness and warmth of all my uncles and aunts and cousins. Having only four or five people in that house would have been an impoverishment beyond imagination.

The joint family is still well and alive in India. However, I haven't seen anything even close to this in America, at least not in New Jersey. Still, I was surprised to read about the boarding house brouhaha. After living here all these years, if I could not understand why ten guys living together is a big deal, I imagine how these guys sharing the house must have felt. Puzzled, conflicted, angry at being embarrassed and shamed.

In the vein of cross-national and cross-cultural misunderstanding, I recall this story of four Indians who were new to America, being pulled up for speeding. As soon as they stopped the car, they piled out in a hurry because they thought staying inside would make the cop suspicious, only to be yelled at to get back in. At the time, when I heard this from a friend, I was surprised. What's the harm in getting out of the car, I thought. That's what I would have done in India.